Last Cigarette

I just smoked my last cigarette. I have made this statement many times but this time its different. I really want to quit and I have chantix on my side. I have been taking the medicine for 7 days. On the 8th day, you are "supposed" to quit. I believe that I would have quit on day 6, if I had no smokes. I wasn't ready yesterday so I bought another pack, but I bought a pack that I wasn't fond of. Today, I woke up ready to accept today as my last day of smoking. I thought I would have enjoyed them more, knowing that I wasn't going to smoke again, but I didn't. They tasted gross and didn't bring the usual satisfaction. So after class, I decided to have a drink and smoke my last cigarettes. Now I have several still in the pack but they are in the trash. I used to chain smoke while drinking. So with my bloody mary in hand, I went to smoke a few before I went to bed. Knowing that these were going to be the last cigarettes that I smoked, I tried to enjoy the first one. No satisfaction. I knew if I tried a second one, that it would help cement my decision to be smoke free tomorrow. It was awful. I only smoked it because I still have the mentality that I shouldn't waste it. About halfway through, I gave up.
I know that I am about to embark on a journey that is going to test my will power and sanity. Somehow I managed the first 17 years of my life without cigarettes and now I will spend the rest of my life without them. First I have to get over my 9 and 1/2 year addiction.

As far as the Chantix, the dreams are wild. But I already knew that since I have tried to quit before. They were really vivid the first 4 or 5 days but calmed down the last two nights. As far as the rest of the side effects, they are way better than the chronic cough that I have had for the last couple of weeks that comes and goes.

I am reclaiming my freedom from my addiction to nicotine and from the expensive habit that has cost me at least $15,000 dollars over the years.